For some children, going to school can become more than simply something they don’t want to do. School can feel overwhelming, distressing or, at times, impossible.
Parents may notice their child becoming increasingly reluctant to go to school, taking longer to get ready in the morning, complaining of feeling unwell, arriving late or becoming distressed when school is mentioned.
Often referred to as school refusal or ‘school can’t’, difficulties attending school can have many underlying causes.
For autistic children, factors such as anxiety, uncertainty, sensory needs, learning demands, social interactions and transitions can all play a role.
So, when a child is struggling to attend school, rather than only asking “How do we get them back to school?”, it can be helpful to first ask: “What is making school difficult for this child?”
So, we asked CliniKids Clinical Psychologist Dr Mei’en Lim and Neuropsychologist and Research Fellow Dr Jack Brett to explain school refusal, or ‘school can’t’, including why it can happen, signs families and educators can look out for and ways we can support children experiencing difficulties attending school.
What is school refusal or ‘school can’t’?
Terms such as ‘school refusal’, ‘school avoidance’ and ‘school can’t’ are often used to describe difficulties attending school. Increasingly, the term emotionally based school non-attendance (EBSNA) is also being used to recognise the emotional distress that can sit behind a child’s difficulty attending school.
Unlike truancy, where a child may deliberately choose not to attend school, emotionally based school non-attendance can involve significant fear, anxiety, low mood or distress associated with school or the prospect of going to school.
For some children, particularly autistic and other neurodivergent children, it may be less about “I don't want to go to school” and more about “school feels too difficult for me right now.”
Why might a child find school difficult?
There isn't one single cause of school non-attendance. Instead, it can help to consider the different factors in and around a child's life and how they may interact.
These can include:
- Individual factors - neurodivergence, physical health or learning differences pose higher risk for EBSNA.
- Emotional and mental health factors - including anxiety, low mood, fear of failure or difficulty coping with uncertainty.
- Social factors - such as bullying, friendship difficulties, feeling excluded or navigating complex peer interactions.
- School and environmental factors - including sensory overload, transitions, academic demands, communication demands or a child's support needs not being fully met.
For autistic children, the school environment can present additional challenges. Bright lights, noise, busy classrooms, unexpected changes and unstructured social situations can all increase the demands of the school day.
There may also be learning or communication demands that aren't immediately obvious. A child may need more time to process verbal instructions, benefit from visual information or be finding a particular academic task much more difficult than those around them.
What to consider
Rather than looking for one reason a child isn't attending school, it can be more helpful to ask:
What is making school difficult for this child?
What are some early signs that a child may be struggling?
School attendance difficulties don't always begin with a child completely stopping school. There can be smaller signs along the way.
Parents, caregivers and educators might notice:
- Increasing reluctance to go to school
- Difficulty getting ready or leaving the house in the morning
- Regularly arriving late
- Wanting to leave school early
- Frequent complaints of headaches, stomach aches or feeling unwell around school
- Distress the night before school
- Difficulty engaging in particular classes or activities
- Increased distress around certain days, subjects or transitions
- Changes in friendships or social participation.
Recognising patterns can be particularly helpful. For example, does the difficulty tend to happen on days involving sport? Before a particular class? During busy transition periods? Following lunchtime or recess? Identifying these patterns can help families and schools begin to understand what might be contributing to the child's distress.
Look beyond the classroom
Sometimes the most difficult parts of school aren't academic. Unstructured times such as recess and lunch can place their own demands on children, particularly those who are autistic or who have developmental differences.
A child may understand exactly what to do when they're sitting in a classroom with a clear task but find an open-ended instructions such as “go and play” much harder.
Where should they go? Who should they play with? How do they join a game? What happens if their friend isn't there? What should they do if they want to leave?
Providing additional structure or options that are available during these times may help make the school day feel more predictable and manageable for these children.
How can families and schools support a child?
There is no one-size-fits-all solution to emotionally based school non-attendance. Support should begin with understanding the individual child and what is contributing to their difficulty.
- Look for the reason behind the behaviour
Rather than focusing only on getting the child through the school gate, consider what might be making attendance difficult. Talk with your child where possible and work with their educators to identify patterns across home and school. - Make transitions more intentional
Consider what happens at school drop-off and when the child enters the classroom. Would a familiar staff member meeting them help? Could they begin the day with a manageable activity before moving into more demanding work? Small changes to the transition into school may help reduce some of the pressure associated with arriving. - Consider sensory needs
Think about whether aspects of the environment may be contributing to distress. Noise, lighting, temperature, clothing and crowded spaces can all affect how comfortable a child feels at school. Where possible, families, educators and clinicians can work together to identify reasonable adjustments that make the environment more manageable. - Build connection and belonging
Relationships can make a significant difference. An educator knowing what a child enjoys, taking an interest in their favourite subject or recognising what is important to them can help strengthen their sense of safety and connection at school. It's also important to consider friendships and social participation, particularly if a child has been absent for an extended period. - Identify learning difficulties or gaps
Sometimes avoidance of a particular lesson or subject can signal that the work itself is difficult. Exploring whether there is underlying learning difficulties can help ensure a child receives appropriate support. If a child has already missed significant amounts of school, working with the school to maintain learning where possible can also help make returning less overwhelming. - Watch for early signs
School non-attendance can develop gradually. Families and educators communicating early about changes in attendance, lateness, participation or distress may provide an opportunity to intervene before the difficulty becomes more significant. - Tasks/activities when at home
If your child stays home because they are feeling unwell, give them time to rest and recover. Where appropriate, consider limiting screen time so the day remains focused on rest rather than becoming more enjoyable or exciting than a typical school day. If your child is feeling well enough, encourage them to engage in some manageable learning activities that are appropriate for their age and current school expectations. Lower-demand activities such as colouring, craft, building or simple paper-based tasks can also provide opportunities for quiet engagement while keeping the day calm and structured.
Supporting wellbeing as well as attendance
When a child is struggling to attend school, attendance itself can quickly become the focus. However, supporting the child’s wellbeing is equally important.
This may mean working collaboratively with the child and school to find manageable ways for them to participate while understanding and addressing the factors contributing to their distress.
For some children, this might involve temporarily adjusting parts of the school day, changing how they transition into school or gradually building their confidence and capacity to participate.
As adults, it can be easy to forget just how challenging learning can be. While learning remains an important part of a child’s development and participation in the world around them, some children may be particularly sensitive to making mistakes or experiencing failure. This can make it difficult to attempt a task, particularly if they are worried about not getting it right.
Providing appropriate scaffolding, encouragement and kindness can help children navigate these experiences and build confidence. Effort-based feedback, which focuses on a child’s effort, persistence and willingness to try rather than solely on the outcome or performance, can also help reinforce that making mistakes is a normal part of learning.
Any adjustments should be considered in the context of the individual child’s needs and in collaboration with their family, school and relevant health professionals.
The goal isn’t simply to get a child back into the classroom at any cost. It’s to understand why school has become difficult and what needs to change to help them feel safe, supported and able to participate.
Remember: Start with curiosity
When a child says they can't go to school, it can be challenging for everyone involved.
Families may be juggling work, siblings and the emotional impact of seeing their child distressed. Educators may be trying to support the child while balancing the needs of an entire classroom. the child themselves may not always have the words to explain why school feels so difficult.
Instead of beginning with “How do we make them go?”, it may help to begin with “What is making it hard for them to go?”
Understanding the answer can help families, educators and clinicians work together to identify practical supports and make school feel more manageable.
Looking for support?
If your child is finding school challenging, our CliniKids psychologists, occupational therapists and speech pathologists can work alongside your family to better understand your child’s individual needs..
The Department of Education also provides information and support for families and educators through its Children with special educational needs resources.
For clinicians, educators and family members looking for practical tools to help communicate a child’s individual strengths and support needs, The Tool | Autism CRC is another useful resource.
This article is based on the CliniKids Autism Seminar Series webinar, ‘Understanding school refusal / school can't and how to help’, presented by Dr Mei'en Lim, Clinical Psychologist, and Dr Jack Brett, Neuropsychologist and Research Fellow at CliniKids. You can watch it here.
First published Tuesday 8 September 2026.
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